Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
