if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
