I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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