2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
