Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
