He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
