Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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