dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
