I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Panties = found
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
