Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
