i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
