you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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