I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
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