You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
