I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize