bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
