Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
