What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
