Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
