dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
