In the future we'll all be gay
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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