...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
