U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
