Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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