So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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