are you still at the devil's house?
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
