so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
