i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
