Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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