talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Boobs speak an international language.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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