you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
