exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
