WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
