come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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