hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
