i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
This beer is not sobering me up at all
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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