i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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