I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Randomize
