I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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