Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
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