if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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