Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
