Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Randomize
