You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Randomize
