He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
