you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
