This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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