omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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