I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Drake has all the answers
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
