I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
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