If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
